One thing that I really enjoyed about this book is the way Marjorie
Taylor focused on dispelling some of the more negative aspects of
imaginary friends. Just because a child creates an imaginary friend,
does not mean they are lonely or there is something wrong in their
developmental cycle. This was the mainstream belief until quite
recently. Then, societies perception changed and suddenly, imaginary
companions were viewed with prestige. Studies have shown however
that having an imaginary friend does not mean that a child is special
or is showing great signs of genius. These children aren't even
particularly more creative when they are older when compared to other
children. You know what a child having an imaginary friend does
show? It shows that a child is a child. End. Of. Story.
Children create because they can. The ones who do not create an
imaginary friend don't have an disadvantage or advantage over the
ones that do. Their interest just lie elsewhere. Furthermore, it
has been suggested that due to parental disapproval, most children
don't even let on that they do have an imaginary companion.
Yes yes. Of course there are always the exceptions to the rules and
there are always children who are going to create imaginary friends
to fulfill some sort of need they are not getting or to play out a
desire or even to manifest a problem into a form they can understand.
But those are the stories we hear about. They are not necessarily
the norms.
“In my
daydreams I was training myself to be a fool; in mapping and
chronicling Animal-Land I was training myself to be a novelist.”
~C.S Lewis
on his imaginary world he used to play in as a child.
This book originally interested me due to its topic. In my own story
(Dear God let it be published and finally done with one day) I write
about imaginary friends and what happens to them when children stop
believing they exist. My premises falls into one of the harsher views
of the imagination where one little girl couldn't distinguish reality
and fantasy quick enough and so her parents decided to put a stop to
it. While reading Imaginary Companions and the Children Who
Create Them, I must admit that I was a little horror stricken to
find out that this scenario, doctors, priests and all, isn't a far
stretch. I would like to note, however, that I do make the
distinction in the story that this is one case and not an all
encompassing view. Her friend, in fact, navigated this world and the
imaginary one quite easily.
But where does that imaginary friend go when the child stops seeing
them? Often times, kids let go of these companions without much
thought and the companion itself is then deduced to a memory that may
be recalled every once in a while. This, is one of the many subject
that I try to touch on in my novel. So of course I needed to pick up
this book because lets face it, Google search can only give you so
much. Plus, most sights about imaginary friends out there were
starting to make me sick seeing as it was mostly message boards about
concerned parents not knowing what to do with the idea that their
child was talking to something they couldn't see.
That's another good point this book makes. Children often times know
that what they are doing is make believe. They can distinguish
between reality and fantasy. They just continue to play in the
fantasy world long past the point of comfort for some parents. It's
natural. It's fun. And they are entertaining themselves in a way
that doesn't include the acid trips that pass as children's
television these days.
Seriously. What the hell is that?
Upon reading this book, I didn't necessarily gain new information but
it was nice to hear about the studies done in order to gain some sort
of basis for this phenomenon that we often see within children. The
chapters that most interested me were the ones on older children or
adults having imaginary friends. There was even a small section
about writers and how by the definition of an imaginary companion,
most writers fall under the category of having one. As someone who
writes, I constantly feel like my characters are doing or saying
things that I don't necessarily plan for them. Yes, a majority of my
story is a flimsy little idea in my head but I never solidify
anything because I have learned over the years that you have to leave
room for your characters to tell their story. So, when my characters
go off and say or do things that I am adamantly against, or surprise
me in ways that I didn't know possible, I am technically
participating in an imaginary friend type relationship. The irony of
this does not escape me seeing as the main character of this story is
based on my imaginary companion as a child.
There are so many good things about this book that I don't even know
what to cover and what not to cover. I would love to just swoon over
all the points that the author makes and relate to you everything
Taylor covers or share the passages that I underlined (or in the
cases where parents think their child was talking to Satan, got
genuinely mad at) but then there would be no point in you reading the
book itself.
If you are interested in psychology, read this book. If you are interested in imaginary friends, read this book. If you are a parent, please please please read this book. It is informative and endlessly fascinating and the little antidotes that the children relay to the interviewer are often times priceless.
Did anyone else have an imaginary friend as a kid? Comment down here
or share your post on my Facebook page. I'm always looking for new
stories in order to further enhance the Imaginaries in my own novel.
To see what else I'm reading this month and for more reviews, go here; http://papertales4u.blogspot.com/2013/06/june-book-reads.html
